Almost Hopeless

A lot has happened since my last post, but nothing too exciting. I was kind of depressed for awhile, (and I’m still somewhat depressed.) It seems that every time I try to make something of myself, it doesn’t work out – it’s short-lived and all that. However, it seems that I encounter more obstacles, as I get older.

I had hoped to graduate high school and then be well on my way to having the life I desire. I wanted to write, model and act, and make enough money to be able get off ODSP and support myself. I planned to move to Toronto, make friends that I could actually hang out with, then hopefully be in a loving and lasting relationship. I still really want to achieve these goals, but right now at least, my dreams seem almost hopeless. I have no idea how I’m going to achieve them.

Apparently, I am no longer applicable for the Gage apartments in Toronto because I can’t sit for really long time without getting uber sore and vomiting. The Gage’s admissions team’s second reason why I’m not applicable is that I’ll become a shut-in because I do not live in Toronto, I don’t have friends in the city and won’t have things to do which is not true at all. There’s a surgery that will keep me from vomiting, so after I have it, I am going to appeal their decision.

As for my graphic novel, some of you know, I’ve decided not to work with the artist due to financial reasons. My dad said that he’ll illustrate my book, and although he is reliable and a great artist, I’m unsure that he will be able to spend much time and energy on my novel. So it falls to me, which I guess was always inevitable. I am the only one who can make my life better. Furthermore, I mustn’t just hope and pray for success. I have to act upon something that I can actually do. I can do the art with Inkscape and Gimp, so that is where I will start.

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