Dreams, Realizations, New Year’s and the Shadow Self

Image found on zedge.net

Hey guys, I hope everyone had/having a safe and happy new year’s. I have a lot to talk with you about, I would have written a post yesterday, but I had a headache. This turned out to be a good thing because I was rather nauseous, and I had a dream last night that reinforced the realizations that I’ve had this past week.

I dreamt that I was talking with Richard Cypher in my old house on Burnett. I told him that I was his future. Then, I said to myself, “he was my past but he is also my future!” I felt a deep connection and comradery between Richard and I, and we said much more to each other, but of what I cannot recall. However, I think this dream is telling me that I can be noble, undaunted and stay true to my core self like Richard is.

If you ever read the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind, you’ll know a bit of what I’m talking about. This series has to be one of my favourites! I identify with Richard a lot; we have similar values and thoughts about life. He has some characteristics that I admire, and want to embody as well.

Image found on gleeksource.com

While I am still on the subject of dreams, I had another Glee dream on the night before last, which hasn’t happened in awhile.

My mum and I were outside, waiting in line to meet the Glee cast. Then someone came to place a barcode with my name around my finger, and was allowed into the building where Glee was being shot. However, before I met the cast, I had to put my barcode adorned finger in a scanner, which looked like a thumb print scanner inside of a small waffle iron. Though, it didn’t get a good reading because I started to spasm, so then, my mum took me in search for another scanner. I told her that we’d get caught, but she wouldn’t listen. The truth of my words came soon after I said them, when a Spanish employee who spoke little English, came and separated us. I tried to tell the employee that the woman I was with, was my mother, and that I was adopted, but she did not understand me. However, she didn’t know what to do with me, and she couldn’t find anyone who would look after me. As a result of this, the employee took me to a room behind a Styrofoam curtain, and this is where the Glee cast was! I talked with Cory, and I felt so much presence and acceptance from him, and the other cast members, but especially from Cory!

My dream speaks to me of independence, and not solely relying on the people that I am comfortable with to help me, even though they mean well. This brings me to the next thing that I’d like to talk about. Last week, on Christmas Eve, I received a message on LinkedIn. The message was from a publisher who is interested in my novel.  I was so elated at my sudden good fortune that I had to show my family, but they were not as ecstatic as I was. They told me that I should wait for another publisher because they were worried about her validity. More was said, but to make a long story short; my parents’ advice really shook me to the core, and believe it or not, I started questioning myself. I was very depressed, and I did not know what to do. I repeatedly asked myself how my intuition could be that off. You see, I truly felt that this publisher was genuine, but my parents have a lot more experience in dealing with people than me, so I was going to listen to them. However, after watching Leija’s video, talking about the shadow self, I decided to trust my intuition.

I love YouTube! I love the fact that I can still find people who I resonate and connect with, without having to worry about how I am going to get out of my house.

I was watching Veronica’s New Year’s video, and I answered the questions that she asked in it.

  1. Q: What is at least one thing that you have done or embodied in 2012 that you’re proud of?
    A: 
    My novel. I wrote and illustrated a graphic novel all by myself.
  2. What do you want to leave behind you in 2012?
    A: The fact that I believed I was limited by my disability, and couldn’t have the life that I’ve always wanted.
  3. What are you choosing to empower in 2013?
    A: Authenticity!! I choose to continue to be and express myself, no matter what people think of me.

Alright folks, I have finally finished saying all that I want to for the moment. I’m off to bed, but I invite you to answer the questions above, and/or leave me a comment in the space below.

Take care all!

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