Midnight Revelations: Clearing the Haze

Hi all, last night I watched Veronica Krestow’s video on boundariesand I had a thought, a moment of clarity. I have come to realize why I don’t have the very thing I expressed to desire in my previous blog. I am not living as authentically as I could be, because for the past year and maybe a little before that, I have been trying to succeed in achieving my goals through other people’s perceptions of reality instead of my own. Let me explain. I want so badly to have a life that I’m happy with and that is authentically mine, so, I put my energy into manifesting success through the ways of others because I have adopted the belief that my ways of doing things are wrong and invalid. It is this belief that is the reason I am not living the life I want.
People say that I am psychotic and a freak because who I am and what I believe in, however, I’ve gotta be me. “Whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong, whether I find a place in this world or never belong I gotta be me, I’ve gotta be me. What else can I be but what I am? I want to live, not merely survive.” And the only way that I am going to do that is if I figure out a way to achieve my goals that stays true to me, my inner self and I.
I’m a creative and spiritual person who has neglected parts of himself to gain the acceptance of others. My neglect didn’t have the desired effect, so, I guess what I am saying with all this is; if you want a life of happiness and success, stay true to who you are.

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